If Nixon had not assassinated JFK, at the behest of Chairman Mao
in order to win the heart of Jackie O
would Princess Di have married him (Kennedy, not Nixon),
and given birth to Jesus 2.0?
I’ve been challenged on this one by people who should know better than to question my unquestionable knowledge of history. But, I understand that most people are lacking my insight into hindsight, so let me explain, and please do follow along because. there will be a test on the 100th anniversary.
Nixon met Mao through Ho Chi Minh.
David bBenGurion introduced Nixon to Ho.
Ho and Ben-Gurion stayed in the same hotel in Paris, in 46, when they became great friensds. (Ho offered Ben-Gurion a Jewish homeland in vVetnam. Too bad Ben-Gurion passed on the offer because the Middle east would not be the mess it is now, and the Yanks would never have gone into Vietnam)
Like everyone has known since his assassination, JFK was going to end the war in Vietnam, right? 🙂
Mao did not like the thought of that for a number of reasons.
- Ho was schtooping Mrs. Mao. The Chairman could have simply cut off military support to Ho but he’d have gained nothing by doing so
- Conversely, if it became a long, drawn out war of attrition, Vietnam would owe everything to China. So, Kennedy, that peace loving hippie, had to go
Mao got in touch with Nixon, who wanted Jackie. He alsowanted justice for Kennedy getting Daiey to steal the election for him by voting the dead in Chicago
Mao also had it bad for Marilyn. That’s why Mrs. Mao was doing Ho (there was, by the way, no Mrs. Ho – can you imagine being known as Mrs. Ho? 😦
With Kennedy dead, Nixon gets Jackie, Mao gets Marilyn, the war drags on and on, Nixon eventually gets the White House, and China owns Vietnam.
Everything worked out for the boys, except for the girls. That’s when the expression ‘bros before hos’ came into existence, and that’s what Mao has just said to Nixon in that famous photo of them shaking hands.
Class dismissed. See you in 50 years.