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Grey Cup memories

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I just clicked on the Grey Cup game

grey cup

 

esks

and got the heebie jeebies.

When I was a kid, relatives of mine, who I never liked,

cousins

 

would regale polyester clad rye and seven swillers at curling club parties with stories of Grey Cup shenanigans and debauchery.

2 guys

They would go on about the great train trips

bar car

to exotic places like Winnipeg and Hamilton

I can still picture dentures slipping out of mouths,

dentures

spittle flying all over the room, as they got drunker and drunker, middle-aged dentists and mill foremen

droolers

slobbering

pigs

over the nubile, rock ‘n’ roll teenage daughters of their second cousins,

runaways

and me, standing somewhere in a dark corner wondering, ‘How the fuck did I get born into this?’

Knowing them as well as I did, I could not imagine a more horrifying experience than being caught in a drunken sea of tens of thousands of such creatures.

Should I get filthy rich before they die, I’ll commission HR Giger and Ralph Steadman to point these scenes.

 

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About zilla

i was born with skates on. i have three thumbs. i often wish i was a penguin. but i don't like fish, so maybe not.

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