RSS Feed

Veggie boy beats down meathead, yet again, with no-way-out scenario

Posted on



In 1983, on my 20th birthday, I went veggie. I did so for moral, not health, reasons. In the run up to the evolutionary great leap forward, I had been castigating friends who hunt. The called me on my hypocrisy, “Listen toy you, as you jam that burger down your meathole.” My EGO will not allow me to lose an argument, so I haven’t eaten any murdered animals since.

Over 30 years since, I’ve argued with a lot of carnivores, and did so again, last night. At times, this will look like a memo from the Department of Redundancy Department, but an objective reader will note that that is the fault of my combatant.

Veggies who engage in debates about their moral superiority over carnivores may want to know that in 30 years I have never lost this argument with a meathead because of the scenario I present to my rope-a-dope victim below.  No one has ever been able to answer the question I pose.

  • How to make seal hunt more appealing to Europeans.
    How to make seal hunt more appealing to Europeans.
    • Gord Smedley Human beings have clubbed things to death since time immemorial. Get over it.
    • Brian Salmi men have beaten women for just as long. why are there so many homes for battered women? because the bitches won’t listen. get over it
    • Gord Smedley Yes. That. Good point, Brian. The myth that we are still evolving is sadly lacking in evidence…
    • Gord Smedley I am an unrepentant omnivore who would happily wear fur if I could afford it. I am an animal — an “apex predator” in biological terms. I have killed and will kill to eat, and if needs be will kill to stay warm. I seriously don’t get what the fuss is about except Disney-inspired anthropomorphism.
    • Gord Smedley Show me a fox protesting for the mouse’s rights and I will re-examine my behaviours and beliefs.
    • Brian Salmi do you draw any lines on what animals you will murder? if so, based on what?
    • Gord Smedley I would probably hesitate before cannibalism, if only at the risk of contracting human-specific diseases. Nevertheless, I would make bacon of you if there were no alternative. Nothing personal, you understand…
    • Brian Salmi you are superior to other animals, so it’s your right to murder them?
    • Gord Smedley Not my point at all, Brian. I am *not* superior to any animal. I *am* an animal. To think otherwise is hubris. Animals kill animals to eat.
    • Gord Smedley Chimpanzees regularly engage in hunting, shredding and eating not only other species but each other. We are not so far from them.
    • Gord Smedley If I declare myself a vegetarian or vegan, on moral grounds, I am engaging in hubris of the worst sort. I am saying I alone, as homo sapiens, have the right to determine what is and is not ethical behaviour.
    • Brian Salmi speak for yourselfso, you would have no problem if another animal came to this planet to eat? have we been down this path before?…See More

    • Gord Smedley Not only would I have no problem with that, I would have no problem volunteering to be among the first slaughtered given the moral situation “We need to kill eight tenths of the world’s population to ensure the species’ survival.” I would trust my death would be relatively painless.
    • Brian Salmi no no. you have to watch them all be slaughter mercilessly. caged like factory farm animals.but that’s a good answer. i’m sure the peope you love rest secure in the knowledge that you’re looking out for them…See More

    • Brian Salmi or if a human kidapped one of your loved ones and was going to kill them, you would not attempt to save them?
    • Gord Smedley The logical fallacy you’re involved in is commonly called “reductio ad absurdem.” I am a human being; an apex predator in the continuum “mammal.” I eat what I can — as a bear or an eagle, I am an omnivore. The fact that some others of my species have…See More
    • Brian Salmi so, what would you say to those aliens? assuming your rambo imitation merely makes them fall down laughing. you have to reason with them. what are you gonna say? what’s your argument?
    • Gord Smedley The analogy would be, what does the deer say to me in its defense before I butcher it? There is nothing I could say to the alien that would alter her imperative.
    • Brian Salmi so, you’d not bother to defend the ones you love? well, you would go all rambo macho man, but after tht failed, you’d pass on the opportunity to disuade the aliens? even when THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE are begging for their lives. the children are crying, “i don’t wanna die!”and the aliens are laughing an saying, “come on, gord. make your case.”

    • Bridget Bardot I would say, yes we are animals like other animals, but we do have unique abilities, one of which is reason and ethical thought. We alone are able to see the consequences of our actions – on a global environmental scale as well as the the local, empath…See More
    • Gord Smedley What does the seal say to the orca? “Spare me, please! I have babies!” You’re missing my point, Brian (with, and please believe me on this, ALL due respect). Yes, I would defend my babies and my clan with every skill and power at my disposal, but when …See More
    • Brian Salmi so, you wouldn’t, you really wouldn’t even attempt to dissuade these murderous beasts from killing the people you love? that’s what you’re saying, or NOT saying, right?
    • Gord Smedley To reiterate from my latest comment, “Yes, I would defend my babies and my clan with every skill and power at my disposal.”
    • Brian Salmi so, what’s your argument to the aliens?
    • Brian Salmi and, btw, they’re looking at the mickey mouse watches and making it clear that times is running out
      20 hours ago · Like · 1
    • Gord Smedley I would probably make more than a few, but, as I stated about 10 posts back, “what would the deer say to me prior to me butchering it?”
    • Brian Salmi no no, you’re on trial here. tick tick tick
    • Gord Smedley I’m a realist, Brian. With an alien gun pointed at my head and forced to justify my existence before I’m killed for food, I would say, “Fuck you, alien beast. Kill me if you will.”
    • Gord Smedley My odds would be exactly that of a 1930s Russian accused in a show trial. “I defy this court’s authority (but have absolutely no power to alter it).”
    • Brian Salmi you’re dodging, gord. it very valorous of you to offer to sacrifice yourself, if only to spare you the horrors of watching the people you love – THE PEOPE YOU LOVE, gord, – being mercilessly slaughteredso, once again, you’re saying you would not bother attempting an argument

    • Brian Salmi as they’re crying and begging you to reason with thealiens, who look like they could be reasonable, who have said we don’t NEED to eat them, we just want to
    • Gord Smedley Were my sister or brother or nieces or mother or father or even my close friends to be threatened (I think I’m repeating myself), I would fight to the death. Period. End of story.
    • Gord Smedley Again, I am an animal. I have a clan to which I belong. My instinctual response to a threat to that clan is to defend that clan. I will also kill to feed that clan. I’m not sure where the problem occurs within that philosophy.
    • Brian Salmi but what’s you’re argument? is it all about violence? is there no reason?you know what, i’ve been arguing this shit for 30 fucking years. i’ve never lost. not nce…See More

    • Gord Smedley Well said, Brian. I am blessed to have friends who can disagree without being disagreeable.My point, if I can sum it up, is that I, as a human being, am omnivorous. Although I have the choice to not eat meat, I do not exercise that choice, nor do I f…See More

    • Gord Smedley And may I add, I’m not trying to alter your philosophy. I’m simply stating mine. As I’ve said to any number of folks I’ve trained in any number of skills, “There are nine different right ways of doing this. The one I’m going to show you is the one that works for me.”
    • Meat Chick there is hunting for food and pelt (as a combo), there is hunting purely for status fashion, there is hunting for sport or animal abuse for sport. I accept that we eat meat (animals eat meat) but I do not support the killing of animals for any other r…See More
      20 hours ago · Like · 1
    • Gord Smedley Hunting for sport is admitting one has no testicles.
    • Brian Salmi so, you, christine, too, would not bother to make an argument to save your ow fucking children?oh, fuck, gord, you just can’t resist, huh?…See More

    • Brian Salmi down. stay down

      Brian Salmi's photo.
    • Gord Smedley Good point, Brian. No, I hadn’t looked at it in that light.
    • Gord Smedley If you’re drunk, I’ll carry on the conversation. If not, I’m getting tired of it.
    • Brian Salmi quit drinking when i found out i have diabetes. i love marina too much to deprive her of what love i can return to her for what she’s given to methis time, sugar ray yells “no mas” and it kills me to use tht one ’cause i loved duran and hated leonard

      Brian Salmi's photo.
    • Gord Smedley I’m a poor dumb animal. You’re presenting yourself as above me — a vaunted HUMAN BEING who judges what and whom may or not be eaten. I do not subscribe to that philosophy. I eat, therefore I am.
    • Meat Chick as long as they kill us humanely…damn aliens.
    • Brian Salmi if i would beg the aliens to save the lives of the people i love based on simple compassion, and you would not do the same, does that not put me above you?fuck, gord,. i would beg the aliens to spare your loved ones based on compassion and you can’t…See More

    • Gord Smedley Sober as the proverbial judge. We simply differ on a philosophical point. You are right. So am I. That is all.
    • Gord Smedley The most important thing I learned through ceasing to stab coke into my veins is that I do not have to be right every time. I simply have to be right for me.
    • Gord Smedley I have a ton of respect for you, Brian. I like you and will have your back. That does not mean I will agree with you on every point. You might be wrong, and so might I. So be it.
      19 hours ago · Like · 1
    • Gord Smedley If I can be so facetious, “I will kill and butcher an animal to save your life. You are part of my clan.”
    • Brian Salmi and i’d beg the aliens to spare you. but, if it comes to that, do me a favour to make my case a little stronger, please? if they offer you the veggie burger as your last meal -TAKE THE FUCKING VEGGIE BURGER, MEATHEAD!
      19 hours ago · Like · 1
    • Gord Smedley Love you too, Godzilla.

About zilla

i was born with skates on. i have three thumbs. i often wish i was a penguin. but i don't like fish, so maybe not.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: