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Subban to Babcock: It’s oh k k k, boss, I’ll sit in the stands again

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PK Subban pleads his case to be included in the line up for Friday's semi-final against the US to Team Canada brass

PK Subban pleads his case to be included in the line up for Friday’s semi-final against the US to Team Canada brass

If Canada had a tabloid newspaper that was worthy of being called a tabloid, this picture would be on the front page today.

If the exact same set of circumstances were in play in England, for football, or Mairka, for baseball, there would be race riots going down.

In England, The Sun, or maybe The Mirror, would have created the same pic and sent it out on Twitter. It would go super nova viral immediately, and the tabs would have a field day. An editor smart enough to come up with this would also be smart enough to have the first edition on the trucks before he put the pic out into the Twitterverse, of course, so his competition had no chance of getting it for their first editions.

Can you imagine – you being anyone who knows anything at all about Bumblefuck, football, and the gutter press – England fielding a team of white guys who get through to the World Cup semi finals by winning every game on penalties, while a bona fide black superstar, the only one on the team, doesn’t even dress? Brixton would burn.

Now, let’s take this story to the other side of the Atlantic, to Mairka. Baseball. No… wait, let’s call it basketball, because they actually send their best players to play international basketball, unlike baseball. It’s the Olympics. The Yanks, using all white boys, have won all their games. In overtime. Sitting in the stands is a black kid who blocks 12 shots a game, collects 15 rebounds, and scores double figures, some of those points coming from sublime three-pointers.

Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jessie Jackson would be screaming for the heads of every honky member of the team’s management. The White House would HAVE TO intervene. And the Yanks don’t care about basketball half as much as Canadians care about hockey.

Now, I’m not saying that Babcock and Yzerman are racists. Not for a second do I believe that. But, HOLY FUCKING JESUS FUCKING PRICE, am I ever tempted to stir that shit pot just to get those two to say, “Hey, maybe we should play PK, instead of dressing Hamhuis and keeping him on the bench.”

What the flying fuck are they thinking? Dan Hamhuis didn’t get a shift in the third period against Latvia (nor did Martin St. Louis). Why? Because Babcock was worried that he’d fuck up and the Latvians would score because of his fuck up? Fuck no. Hamhuis rode the pine because he’s not likely to add anything to the offense.

HELLO? Subban is the most dangerous defenseman to play the game since Paul Coffey (go ahead, say he’s dangerous on both ends of the ice, you racist assholes). And he’s sitting in the stands so Dan Fucking Hamhuis can sit on the bench and scratch his balls? What the fuck?!

Unless he gets a career-ending injury, PK Subban will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame one day. Ten years from now, no one will remember the name Dan Hamhuis.

Now, with John Tavares out of the tournament, and the rest of the NHL season, only one of our players will not dress for the game against the Yanks. And that’s going to be PK Subban? Are you fucking kidding me? So he can watch Dan Fucking Hamhuis and Martin St. Louis sitting on the bench and pulling slivers out of each other’s asses?

Again, I’m not playing the race card. I won’t stoop to that. And it’s a testament to the tolerance of Canadians that no one is calling Babcock, Yzerman et al. bigots, but it’s fuckin’ eh tempting because this is just plain stupid.

That said, we are gonna beat the Yanks on the morrow, no matter  how nervous and hysterical I may sound right now.


About zilla

i was born with skates on. i have three thumbs. i often wish i was a penguin. but i don't like fish, so maybe not.

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