RSS Feed

The NRA, Rosa Parks and Giggles the Happy Bomb

Posted on

rosa

Now here’s a gem of logic.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and posit that the genius who came up with this one is claiming you have a right to own a gun for personal protection. And that right is as “God given” as the right to not be discriminated against because of your skin colour.

The gun is supposed to protect you from the bad guys. Oft times, gun rights people say that, sooner or later, the bad guys are gonna be the government. Yes, that may be, but if it’s so, those bad guys are gonna outgun you by a wide margin.

The only way the military is gonna be deterred from coming for you is if you’re sitting on NBC weapons. Nuclear Biological Chemical. Also known as WMDs.

nuke

So, when examining the above meme, I have to conclude that whoever came up with it is, in fact, saying, “If that nigger bitch gets to sit at the front of the bus, I get to have my own nuclear bomb.”

Sounds right to me, Bubba. So long as we all get one. And since this must be a universal right, every kids in Iran and Afghanistan should get one, too, right?

This is the personalized version of a promise I first made when running for federal office in 1997. I proposed that Canada build a nuclear bomb. Not an arsenal, just one. A 1 gigaton bomb.

To date, the biggest bomb ever created was the 57 megaton Soviet nuke affectionately known as Tsar Bomba. That big boy was 1400 times more powerful than that puny little Mairkan thing named Little Boy

littlke boy

which vaporized Hiroshima

hiroshima

As you can see, big bombs need to be named, and I promised to name Canada’s nuke Giggles. Giggles the Happy Bomb. Giggles would be about 20 times bigger than Tsar Bomba.

In order to sell the idea to the nation, I would use my powers as the country’s first Rhino Prime Minister, to mount an extensive PR campaign that would see hundreds of child friendly Giggles mascots

giggles

travelling from coast-to-coast-to-coast handing out depleted uranium bullets to little boys and girls of all ages.

The ultimate goal of Giggles was to make sure that no one in the world fucks with Canada, because if they do, KABLOOEY!

tjhats all

we blow up the whole fucking world.

And just in case anyone thought we were just joking, thought that Canadians are far too polite to blow up the whole fucking world, I was gonna put Don Cherry in charge of Giggles

grapes

Grapes, and Grapes alone, would be the one to decide if and when Giggles would be deployed.

Motherfuckers!

 

Advertisements

About zilla

i was born with skates on. i have three thumbs. i often wish i was a penguin. but i don't like fish, so maybe not.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: