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Champions League explained for ignoid Mairkans

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Things are not going as I hoped in the Champions League.  I don’t really care, because I’m an Ajax fan,


and we never make it out of the group stage anymore.

Chelsea eliminated Paris St. Germain, and Real Madrid knocked out Borussia Dortmund on Tuesday.

For the sake of illuminating those of you who are wholly ignorant about how the UEFA Champions League works,


let me give this brief explanation of the knockout stages, which start with the round of 16.

Two sides are pitted against each other. Two game series, each getting a home game. Win both and you’re through to the next round, obviously. But if both teams win a game, as was the case  with PSG vs Chelsea and Real vs Dortmund, most goals scored goes through. If both teams score an equal number of goals, the team that scored more away goals goes through.


PSG was at home for the first game of their tussle with Chelsea. PSG won 3 – 1. Chelsea scored a second goal with just a few minutes to play on Tuesday, giving them a 2 – 0 victory. Both teams scored three goals in the two matches. But Chelsea goes through to the semis because they scored a goal in Paris, whereas PSG got shut out in London


Real scored a 3 – 0 win at home last week against Dortmund. Dortmund beat Real 2 – 0 on Tuesday. One win each, but Real wins on aggregate 3 – 2. Had Borussia scored a third goal yesterday, they would have gone into extra time (overtime, but not sudden death overtime). Had the score remainedtied, they’d have gone to penalties (a shootout)


Chelsea will face the winners of the Manchester United / Bayern Munich  showdown, and Real will go head to head with  either arch rival Barcelona, or current La Liga leaders Athletico Madrid. Those semi finals slots will be filled today, when Man u travel to Munich and Barcelona head to Madrid for the second legs of their clashes.


Man U managed a 1 – 1 draw against Bayern. Barca and Athletico also payed to a 1 – 1 stalemate.

So… oh, never mind, you stupid Mairkans. Go back to watching baseball and come back in a couple weeks,when the semis start, and I’ll attempt to learn y’all some more ’bout football.




About zilla

i was born with skates on. i have three thumbs. i often wish i was a penguin. but i don't like fish, so maybe not.

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