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RIFF AND RAFF STOP THE WAR

Rebellious, smart, mischievous, fearless, free-wheeling and fun-loving, 15 year olds Riff (boy) and Raff (girl) are the perfect pair to help an alien race, that has been on Earth for millennia, stop a looming war that will almost certainly end in the nuclear annihilation of the human species and all other life on the planet.

The aliens enlist our heroes – and Riff’s dad, BeanO (the boozy clown) – after an accidental encounter at the zoo, where Riff and Raff were trying to liberate 99 monkeys from their cage. Together they come up with an ingenious plan to persuade the dumb dumb adults to lay down their arms, open their arms and embrace peace and love.

Raff’s arch enemy, the super selfish Mimi Money – who represents the third point of a teen crush love triangle – is determined to stop our heroes from stopping the war. Mimi’s dad, Mr. Money, owns Wicked Weapons of War (WWoW) , which sells its wicked weapons of war to both sides. Mr. Money, who will become the richest and most powerful man in the world if the war goes ahead (mwa hahaha!), is alarmed when he discovers just how clever Riff and Raff are, and stops counting his piles of money long enough to make a phone call that may result in an abrupt end to the peace plan.

But Mr.Money is up against more than just a couple kids, a clown and an alien species. Wiwi, an ethereal being known throughout the universe, preaches and teaches pure love, and she has come to planet Earth just when humans, and our heroes, need her most.

When Raff mysteriously disappears less than 24 hours before President Pudd’n’head (nod to Mark Twain) is set to ‘Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war’, and with the aliens still hours away from reaching Earth orbit, Riff calls Taffy, a gypsy girl whose grandmother is training her in all sorts of strange gypsy witchcraft, to help locate her. Taffy uses remote viewing to ‘scope’ Raff, who is a prisoner at WWoW Headquarters. Raff’s role in the effort to stop the war is absolutely essential and the race is on to rescue her. Just as all looks lost, BeanO discovers, with a lot of help from Wiwi, that the power of laughter can be the ultimate defensive weapon.

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Originally written as a novella, RIFF AND RAFF STOP THE WAR is being transformed into a screenplay. So far as I know, this will be the first screenplay that comes with a built-in soundtrack.

If you purchase and read the story, you’ll see that each “chapter head” is either the title of, or lyrics from, a song. My idea is that every scene is is separated with a new title page. as the scene/chapter titled DON’T FEAR THE REAPER closes the next title of the next scene/chapter comes up on the screen thus – EVE OF DESTRUCTION.

When the Eve of Destruction scene opens, the song Eve of Destruction starts to play, quietly and without lyrics, in the background. If the scene includes one or more of the characters uttering lyrics from the song, the volume of the music will increase until the lyrics have been sung. Then, the music volume drops again, allowing viewers to hear the dialogue.

For example

(Although this is from the novella, not the screenplay, you’ll be able to figure it out)

In this scene, the volume of the music would start to rise here

“Oh, no,” said BeanO, as he eyed a drunken clown stumbling his way toward the table. It was Cheery Cheney, a dumb and mean clown with the most disingenuous clown name ever. Cheery Cheney and BeanO had argued over and over and over again about the looming war.

volume rising

“BeanO, my friend, what are you up to?”

volume rising

“Trying to stop the war.”

volume rising

“What a stupid idea,” said Cheery Cheney. “Can’t you understand that they’ve gone too far? They have to be stopped, and if that means war, I say bring it on. We’ll destroy those heathens.”

volume LOUD, as BeanO bursts into the lyrics

BeanO’s head sank and he tried to control the rage he felt. After a few seconds, BeanO raised his head and gave it to Cheery Cheney “Don’t you understand what I’m tryin’ to say. Can’t you feel the fears I’m feelin’ today? If the button is pushed, there’s no runnin’ away There’ll be no one to save, with the world in a grave. Take a look around ya boy, it’s bound to scare ya boy.

“And you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend, ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.”

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Another thing you’ll notice is that I don’t write descriptively. That’s partially a by-product of my journalism background but mostly a disdain I have for overly descriptive writing. I don’t give a shit what the characters are wearing, what they are eating, how the food tastes, what their shit smells like. I want plot and dialogue. Also, I want to leave as much room as possible for a visual artist to imprint my story with their art.

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