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GHOST WRITTEN MEMOIRS

What follows is the opening of a ghost written auto biograhy. If you’re not sure what that means – I do the writing, but gEt no credit for it.

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When I handed a wad of one hundred and twenty 100 pound notes to the teller, with a mischievous smile, I knew what she was thinking – that I had embarked on a career path that would, one day, lead me to a life of fame, fortune, bling bling and cha-ching as a hip hop star. But it wasn’t so, yo 😉

As much as I still find the idea of a middle aged white guy rapping about the teachings of the Buddha and the wisdom of the Tao wildly amusing it’s just too discordant and absurd to mesh with my sensible middle class upbringing. And, call me a silly old goose, but such a move probably would not have been prudent for a single father of two young children.

Just six hours earlier the very same teller had aided me in draining all but 2111.11 pounds from what had once been a six figure account. When the digits magically, and tragically, transferred from my account to my ex-wife’s account our protracted divorce was finalized. After a few seconds of awkward silence, the teller looked at me and asked, with sincere concern, “Are you going to be alright, David?”

I can’t tell you how touched I was. I had been earning ten times as much money as this gentle woman, yet there she was expressing her concern for my financial well being. I somehow managed to quell an intense emotional and even physical impulse to sob  (not from despair over my plight but because I was so deeply touched), summoned up a smile, and assured her, “Yes, I’m going to be just fine, thank you very much.”

Of the 2111.11 pounds that I had left to my name, 2000 of them would be handed over to my landlord in four days. Just minutes earlier I had walked away from my position as the CEO of a company I had founded and foolishly taken public. I was a quarter million pounds in debt.

As I walked from my office in Mayfair to my bank that morning, those silly Monty Python buggers had me singing and whistling, “Always look on the bright side of life.” I probably should have been rather morose over my dilemma but I was far from it. I had no idea what was to come next but I knew it was going to be better than the landslide of mistakes I’d just crawled out from under.

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